


Say Something

by darth_stitch



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Abuse of Khuzdul, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Ori is a bamf, Pining, Thorin is a failboat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: Thorin Oakenshield confesses his love for Bilbo in Khuzdul.  Which the Hobbit does not understand.  And that's kind of the point, because Thorin is an idiot.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 23
Kudos: 515





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> (Or I finally grab my ailing old laptop and decide to write a longer version of the prompt: “Thorin keeps telling Bilbo how much he adores him in Khuzdul and Bilbo does’t know”)

1\. 

Dwalin has had a long time to get used to Durin-caused bullshit. 

Yes, he’s aware he’s _also_ a Durin. But his Amad was descended from the ruling family of the Broadbeams and he likes to think that he and Balin got the common sense and intelligence that ancient Dwarrow house was known for. Because Mahal only knew that the Durins didn’t have it. At all. 

Case in point: Thorin falling furry arse over boots for that Hobbit. 

So all right, Thorin showed uncommon good sense in that respect. Bilbo Baggins was a fine cook and the cookies would make any intelligent, self-respecting Dwarf fall on his knees and propose marriage on the spot. 

(Okay, Dwalin didn’t, but that was because he took one look at his King and the Hobbit and just knew….) 

But did Thorin have to go about the whole business like a complete clotpole?

Hence: 

“Mahal’s balls, Thorin, REALLY?” So all right, he was sorry that he’d spewed ale all over poor Kili but the lad should really be better at ducking and dodging at this point. 

Thorin’s suspiciously red ears were the real answer but his King had to snarl, “Shut it, Dwalin!” 

There had been an argument. Something something Elrond, pointy-ears, not trusting them, better manners…. whatever. Master Baggins was apparently not the meek and mild little creature they had all taken him for and it was quite amusing to watch the wee one stand up to their grumpy stormcloud King. 

Who apparently found it appropriate to blurt out, in Khuzdul: “Why are you so confoundedly irritatingly ridiculously ADORABLE, Hobbit?!!” 

Master Baggins had no idea what was actually being said, but the Hobbit simply assumed, based from the surly tone, that Thorin was being Disagreeable and Rude. So he simply put his nose up in the air and responded with: “Bless and confound you too, Master Dwarf!” Then followed this up with a magnificently dramatic exit. 

He did not see Thorin turn all the way red, nor the way Dwalin reached out to grab him by his collar because his royal Durin cousin was suddenly wobbly at the knees. Look, Thorin was an idiot, but he was still Dwalin’s king AND idiot. Durin-caused bullshit, right?

Also, Bilbo did not see or hear Fili grumpily handing a bag of coins to Kili. 

All Kili said in response was: “Told you so, Fee. Absolute goober.” 

2\. 

About that bet - Fili and Kili were not stupid. 

Yes, they were young. And occasionally made some silly decisions. But that came with the territory and a little silliness added some fun and excitement to one’s life. 

But yes, the brothers both observed their uncle falling for their Hobbit. 

The nature of the bet was _how_ Thorin would go about wooing the Hobbit. 

Fili was of the opinion that Thorin would behave in a manner befitting his status as a King and of the House of Durin. In short, Thorin Oakenshield would be every brooding, swoon-worthy, romantic hero in those Dwarrow romances that their Amad adored and that Fili claimed he never read ( _nope nope nope - never - what are you talking about_ ).

Kili knew better. He knew his Uncle Thorin would be a complete and utter walnut. A total goober over their Hobbit. 

And yes, Bilbo had become “their” Hobbit in very short order. The sons of Dis knew how to recognize a true treasure when they found it. So it was easy for them to adopt Bilbo Baggins as part of their family and had no problem telling him so. 

Bilbo’s smile, the hugs he bestowed on “you dear, dear lads” and the extra portions of stew with mushrooms that they got for dinner that night, confirmed that it was the right decision. Also, who knew that mushrooms could be so amazingly delicious? 

Bilbo giggled, “I’ll make hobbits of you lads yet. Or since you’re still dwarves, hmm… maybe _dwobbits_ would be better?”

“Dwobbits?!!” was the exclamation of nearly every member of the company. Because of course they were listening in, the nosy buggers. 

“Dwobbits,” Ori said thoughtfully. “Has a nice ring to it.” And of course, this immediately went into his journal. 

“Dwobbits… that would explain much about the Line of Durin,” Balin mused. He twinkled at Thorin, whose ears were once again, that tell-tale shade of red. The erstwhile King of Erebor looked rather gobsmacked, as a matter of fact. “It has been said that Durin’s beloved was not a Dwarf…” 

“Maybe all that hair that should’ve been on your face has gone to your feet, Kili, let me check…” 

“Oi! Leave off, Fili!”

“If Mahal and Yavanna would bless us with dwobbits, I would pray that they would all have your beautiful curly hair and your adorable, kissable nose…” Thorin muttered absently in Khuzdul, not seeing the collective facepalming and coin-purse exchanging of the Dwarves close enough to hear him. 

Bilbo, not understanding of course, frowned at Thorin, even as he absently separated the squabbling boys, gently cuffing them by the ears. “It’s a bit rude to be nattering about in a language one can’t understand.”

“No, Master Hobbit, I’m simply coming up with some suitable way to explain to my sister how I’ve finally tricked some poor unsuspecting soul into adopting this pair of scamps.” 

“Oi!”

Bilbo calmly handed Thorin his own stew - with a generous helping of mushrooms - and said, “I’m sure you’ll manage, Your Dwobbit Majesty.” 

Bilbo was going to learn Khuzdul eventually. In fact, he was fairly sure that “ _Irak’Adadith_ ” meant “Hobbit.” Yavanna knew that Kili and Fili used the word to refer to him often enough. 

Also, he was quite proud that he DID get all three royal Durins to enjoy mushrooms. 

3\. 

Nori and Gloin were sensible Dwarves and thus, they mostly contented themselves by running the various betting pools that had sprung up over the romance (yes, Mahal damn it, it WAS a romance and an EPIC one at that) of their King and Hobbit. 

Hilariously, it was Bifur who kept winning most of the bets. It was almost as if the axe in his head granted him some sort of seer-related powers, enough to rival even Oin’s. 

And yes, Oin was Gloin’s secret weapon as the canny old healer employed his gifts of selective hearing to gather all the needed information. 

“Thorin Oakenshield, WHAT did you just call me? _Bunnanunê_? If that means ‘halfling’ - might I remind you, I am a HOBBIT and NOT half of anything, you confounded Dwarf!”

“My tiny treasure, eh?” Oin muttered. “He’s getting creative with the endearments.”

“Reminds me of my darling _mizim_ and how I wooed her…” Gloin mused. 

“Gloin, EVERYTHING reminds you of your darling wife,” said Nori. 

“And so what if it does – !”

Bifur interrupted the argument with a smug grin and a clear request for money. Yes, he won the bet again. 

4\. 

At this point, Bofur decided to start making toys for any future royal dwobbits. Bifur was quite, quite sure that Bilbo and Thorin would end up having a tiny, dark-haired and blue-eyed dwobbit at some point. Maybe there was something to the stories about Hobbits springing up from cabbage patches. Maybe Bifur really was developing Seer abilities. 

In any case, “Uncle Bofur” would be happy to spoil any dwobbits with toys, while also aiding and abetting in mischief. 

5\. 

Look, Bombur did his part in all these shenanigans. He and Bilbo traded recipes throughout the journey and he was definitely NOT imagining the pink in Bilbo’s cheeks when Bombur gleefully disclosed Thorin’s favorite foods. 

He also wasn’t above nudging the odds favorably when Bilbo invariably came up with something new and delicious that Thorin would enjoy. And yes, he was right there when Thorin inadvertently blurted out an utterly twitterpated marriage proposal to Bilbo that the Hobbit had mistaken for a “thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Bilbo had said with a sunny smile. He wasn’t quite sure why Dwalin was suddenly at Thorin’s side at that point, but he did give them both second helpings of dinner. 

He did chalk up Dwalin’s hand on Thorin’s collar as some sort of Dwarvish shenanigans (really, Dwalin and Thorin sometimes gave Fili and Kili a run for their money when it came to mischief). 

Bombur just beamed as he caught the money bags coming his way. He was actually second runner up to Bifur when it came to the betting. 

6\. 

There was an ongoing argument between Dori and Balin. 

Balin was of the opinion that Khuzdul was still their sacred, Mahal-given language, and as such, could not be shared with non-Dwarves. 

Dori was of the opinion that Bilbo was a true Dwarf-friend and for Mahal’s sake, _somebody_ had to do something regarding the truly pathetic pining of their King over his Hobbit. Yes, it was romantic and adorable but _really!_

Somebody had to take Bilbo aside and get him to realize what Thorin was really saying, so that their poor king could be put out of his misery. 

And anyway, the Consort-to-Be of the King Under the Mountain should really learn Khuzdul. 

Of course, Balin was merely stalling, because he loved a good argument and he was storing up all these wonderful, wonderful points because he was a good adviser and wanted to aid Thorin in giving any old, conservative, useless, greedy nobles collective apoplexy. 

He also knew that he could count on Dori in throwing any potential threats to Bilbo off the Mountain. 

7\. 

All right, Ori had enough of this insanity. 

Really, he was as avid a Storyteller as Bilbo was and he simply couldn’t end this tale of fighting dragons, regaining Erebor, tricking woodland Elves etc. etc. with: “And our King Under the Mountain was a complete and utter walnut who let his Hobbit go back to his Shire without ever letting him know how much he was loved. The End.” 

Yeah, _nope!_

So Ori waited and watched for his opportunity and Mahal deigned to bless his efforts. 

They were all currently engaged in the tedious work that scribes and historians generally left out of the tales, but were still important in rebuilding Erebor. The scene was thus - Ori and Bilbo and Thorin Oakenshield and a pile of paperwork that needed to be worked on. 

It was most peculiar how Bilbo turned pink as he watched Thorin Oakenshield pull out a pair of spectacles from his pocket and put them on. 

“Is there something on my face, _ghivashel_?”

Oh. OH. 

“Well, yes, there is. Something. On your face.” Bilbo flailed. 

“Surely you’ve seen glasses before, _amrâlimê_ ,” Thorin teased. 

“It is STILL not polite that you keep calling me all these silly things that you refuse to translate,” Bilbo retorted. 

And at that point, Ori was absolutely DONE. “I think I would like a pot of tea. Bilbo?” 

Bilbo eagerly took the offered “out” and all but pulled Ori out of the room, both of them ignoring Thorin, who was definitely not pouting. Bilbo did assure the King Under the Mountain that he and Ori would return with tea for him as well. The not-pout was erased with a brilliant smile. Bilbo waved weakly at him even as it was Ori’s turn to drag him away. 

As soon as they were safely out of earshot, Bilbo slumped against Ori. “Glasses, Ori. GLASSES.”

“I know, Bilbo.” 

“How does he still look so MAJESTIC and HANDSOME in GLASSES? This is most unnecessary, Ori. This is RIDICULOUS. And why am I telling you all this? I’ve gone and lost my mind, that’s it. Mad Baggins, Mad Bilbo Baggins…” 

“There, there, Bilbo. If it helps, he feels EXACTLY the same way about you.” 

“Don’t be absurd - he’s your King and – “

“ Amrâlimê means ‘my love,’ Bilbo.”

“What.” 

“Ghivashel means ‘treasure of all treasures.’ They’re endearments. Words of love. Every last one of them.” 

“WHAT.”

Ori smiled. And anyone else who would have seen the smile on the quiet little Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company would have called it bright as the sun and terrible as the sea. 

“I’m going to teach you Khuzdul, Bilbo Baggins.”

8\. 

There was something comforting in confessing his love using his mother-tongue. 

Thorin Oakenshield was quite resigned to the fact that he had lost any hope of gaining his One’s affections after the whole debacle with the Arkenstone and the dragon sickness. Yes, apologies were made and yes, the friendship had been mended. 

And yet, Thorin was too shamed, too angry at himself to even ask for more. Bilbo had his home in the Shire, his books, his armchair and the memories of his family. There was an acorn in his hobbit’s pockets that deserved to be planted at Bag End. 

Bilbo deserved all that, his own happily ever after. Thorin could never be part of that. He didn’t deserve it. 

_“I wish you would stay with me forever,”_ Thorin said one day, as he and Bilbo sat together by the hearth in the King’s own private rooms. He smiled as he shaped the words in his language and prepared to give Bilbo some excuse, a chance to banter and tease. 

_“I want to stay with you forever,”_ Bilbo suddenly said in near-perfect Khuzdul. _“But you have to tell me why, Thorin Oakenshield.”_

Oh, Mahal. Mahal have mercy on him. 

“Please say something… ghivashel. Amrâlimê.” His darling Hobbit had turned this enchanting shade of pink and suddenly, Thorin found his words, the right words, at long last. 

“Because you’ve had my heart all along, Bilbo Baggins.” 

Also, kisses had to be done here. Because hearing those words from his Hobbit’s lips meant kisses, kisses that were eagerly returned, that had Hobbit hands twining in his hair and Thorin murmured a heartfelt apology as he saw tears gather in Bilbo’s eyes. 

“I love you too, you confounded, ridiculous Dwarf.”

9\. 

Bilbo eventually learned that Fili and Kili had been calling him “Little Uncle” the entire time. He laughed, he cried and then gave the boys extra helpings of pie for dessert. 

A certain Dwobbit with curly dark hair and big blue eyes would always love the stuffed plush dragon that his Uncle Bofur made for him. Yep, Bifur won the betting pool again. 

No, Fili and Kili absolutely did NOT have furry feet. But yes, they were proud to be Dwobbits of the Line of Durin. 

Gloin had to be reminded that the Line of Durin tended to find their Ones in the most unconventional ways. This was the only logical explanation as to why his darling Gimli would eventually end up married to Thranduil’s son, Mahal save them all. 

Many, many generations later, it was said among the Dwarves of Erebor that leaving knitted things and flowers at the feet of the statue of Ori, the Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s famed Company, would lead to blessings and luck in love. 

\- end - 


End file.
